God is straight up crazy.

That's what the children of Israel told Moses, according to this minister. They saw His power and were afraid to go speak to Him on the mountain, so they sent Moses because, "God is straight up crazy!" That's according to Cheryl Brady. She is quite funny, but she knows her stuff and how to relay the message to others.

Crazy powerful!

God is really really powerful and I am so glad I've got Him on my side to walk me through this.

No bluebonnets, just lots of rain yesterday.

I've gotten behind on my readings, so I have to play ketchup (hehe).

Life

I get to see the bestest to day if I get my butt up and start moving around! I'm excited! I need batteries for the cam and a phone card for the road because my cell doesn't pick up a signal and I know that I WILL be the one to get lost.

So, for the past couple of nights, I have been looking for Bible verses that have to do with J-HLP (I call it "Jesus Help!" Don't steal it. If it works, I may use it as a learning tool one day); joy, healing, life and praise. I have chosen one verse for each theme every night, so they can help me throughout the day. So, for the first "life" index card, I chose this verse:

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!
(Deuteronomy 30:19)

So, I decided to choose life. I know people would ask, "Well, why would you choose death anyway?" Well, death is easier. You don't have to do anything if you're dead. You can even stop breathing (haha). But choosing life means I have to let God clear out all the cobwebs, skeletons, dust bunnies and the like. All the dead stuff. And because I have had those things for so long, I've gotten used to them. And though they may seem like crap, you become accustomed to them. Its like living in a city with smog. If you live there all your life, you get used to it. Then you get out into the country, with fresh air, and you think it smells funny. You want to go back to the city where the air smells "normal" to you.

So I choose life. The air may smell funny for awhile, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

I wanna go take pictures of stuff on my way back. The buildings get smaller as I leave downtown and the bluebonnets get more abundant.

Rhapsody in Blue

Have you ever heard Rhapsody in Blue? Its one of the most beautiful and most notable pieces by the late George Gershwin. I was enjoying it on my walk this morning. It starts out really majestic. You can hear this incredible orchestra accompanying the piano. But about half-way through the piece, the piano is alone. Everything else stops and you can only hear the pianist's two hands playing two different sounds, but they are in harmony. I find it to be the most beautiful part of the song. I am definitely not a music expert and I stopped playing the piano years ago. But I remember during piano lessons, my teacher accompanying me in certain pieces. We would start off playing together, then there would be a place where I would play on my own, and then she would come back into the piece towards the end. All of this said, it just reminded me of where I'm at now. Most of my life, I've had an orchestra accompanying me; friends, family, coworkers, peers, all supporting me. It sounded nice having all these people around. But now, its just me and Jesus, two hands on the piano. It is kind of a shock going from loud and majestic, to simple and slow. But I know its going to turn out to be the most beautiful part of the piece.

This is day 2. Its really dreary looking outside, but it felt really nice. Its windy and cool and cloudy; perfect for walking. I've gotten off to a good start; I'm slow but sure.

I get to go to Waco to get the bestest today or tomorrow. I miss her all the time. She's fun and I can talk to her about anything. :)

21 days to kick a habit

I have a habit...of unhappiness. I have so many unhealed hurts and unmet needs. They have made me angry, bitter, hurt, sad, you name it. And I have just been burying them continually and not addressing my unsurrendered soul. I kept all this crap inside and let it build up, instead of giving it to Jehovah Raffa (God the Healer). It has infected my life so much; every aspect of my life. But what hurts the most is that I've allowed it to go on for so long and now it has screwed up my relationship with the one I love so much. I can't take it anymore and it all came to a head last night. As I lay in my bed crying, I felt this brick on my chest and I just wanted God to take it off. I could physically feel it weighing me down. I couldn't breath and could barely speak. So I asked God to take it off, take it out. I was actually begging at this time. I don't want to be bitter and resentful anymore. I want happy and if surrendering is what it takes, I'll do it. I will do anything to be able to really really smile; without pain behind it, without having to fake it. Just genuine happiness!

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit. So in 21 days, I want to break the cycle of evil and create a habit of surrendering; being happy. I know that it may take longer and I will be patient. But 21, it seems like a good number.
-I was born on the 21st day of July.
-I will be 21 this year
-7 (the number of completion) x 3 (the triune God) = 21

Maybe, just maybe I will be a new creature in Christ by the 21st day.

But today is day one and I have never been too good at forming or breaking habits.

God help me.

And if the younger Simpson sister has any knowledge about it, it'll take 28. But this is for you Satan. I won't take you or me screwing with my head anymore... You were already defeated anyway.

28 days to kick the habit
28 days to let you go
28 days and I'll be on my own

All my life I've been sorry for something
Something gets me nothing and nothing's such a waste
All this time I've been sayin' I'm sorry
But why should I be sorry for all of your mistakes

-A. Simpson