Another twists in moods

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

I must die to live? Me? AJ Oliver?

I think I am choosing the slow painful one, rather than the quick and painless one. The one that feels like it never happened and you suddenly fall into the abyss of brand new.

Well, I've always been a procrastinator.

I keep on having to die over and over again. Its like this old life keeps resurrecting itself. Its the zombie with 9 lives.

I want to die completely to the fleshy, fleshly, me. But that me is putting up the biggest fight of her life. I want that face to the floor, trembling with joy, bursting into new life kind of experience. So, where is it? Why am I not making more of an attempt to find it? Why are my lovely bones so lazy in this part?

Lots of thoughts to ponder...

A little old lady I met last week at my job, I think she's slipping away. She's homebound. :) She was so sweet and so in love with Jesus. You could see it in her smile. She said that God speaks to me and hoped that I was listening...She had been to three hospitals and said God had sent her their to share the gospel with others. I admired her so much. She touched my heart so much. She was using possibly her last few weeks here on earth to continue to spread the message. And here I sit, trying to figure out how to drop everything and say, "Okay."

What are you going to do with me?