21 days to kick a habit

I have a habit...of unhappiness. I have so many unhealed hurts and unmet needs. They have made me angry, bitter, hurt, sad, you name it. And I have just been burying them continually and not addressing my unsurrendered soul. I kept all this crap inside and let it build up, instead of giving it to Jehovah Raffa (God the Healer). It has infected my life so much; every aspect of my life. But what hurts the most is that I've allowed it to go on for so long and now it has screwed up my relationship with the one I love so much. I can't take it anymore and it all came to a head last night. As I lay in my bed crying, I felt this brick on my chest and I just wanted God to take it off. I could physically feel it weighing me down. I couldn't breath and could barely speak. So I asked God to take it off, take it out. I was actually begging at this time. I don't want to be bitter and resentful anymore. I want happy and if surrendering is what it takes, I'll do it. I will do anything to be able to really really smile; without pain behind it, without having to fake it. Just genuine happiness!

It takes 21 days to make or break a habit. So in 21 days, I want to break the cycle of evil and create a habit of surrendering; being happy. I know that it may take longer and I will be patient. But 21, it seems like a good number.
-I was born on the 21st day of July.
-I will be 21 this year
-7 (the number of completion) x 3 (the triune God) = 21

Maybe, just maybe I will be a new creature in Christ by the 21st day.

But today is day one and I have never been too good at forming or breaking habits.

God help me.

And if the younger Simpson sister has any knowledge about it, it'll take 28. But this is for you Satan. I won't take you or me screwing with my head anymore... You were already defeated anyway.

28 days to kick the habit
28 days to let you go
28 days and I'll be on my own

All my life I've been sorry for something
Something gets me nothing and nothing's such a waste
All this time I've been sayin' I'm sorry
But why should I be sorry for all of your mistakes

-A. Simpson